Wedding Ceremony

HOW TO I DO

Once the delirium of the wedding proposal has worn off, there are some very serious decisions to be made. Before even discussing the wedding, there is the question of whether a pre-nuptial agreement is required. The idea may not have even crossed your mind, but, especially if there are children from a previous relationship, it should not be dismissed out of hand. Pre-nup or not, the next decision that has to be made is how you are going to be married. Firstly, you need to choose between a religious and civil ceremony. Whichever you choose, there are then more options. Your decision may be determined by where the ceremony can take place, or by the format of the ceremony, or indeed both!

For a civil ceremony in Scotland there are no legally prescribed words or 'marriage vows' which means you can personalise your ceremony and even compose your own vows. There are booklets available with suggestions of vows, ring dedications and readings, and an enormous selection via the wonderful world wide web. Within the civil marriage or civil partnership, you might choose to enhance the ceremony with the Quaich, Candle Lighting or Celtic Knot Ceremony. Registrars will be happy to assist in the planning of your civil ceremony and it is always advisable to let the registrar know your wishes for your ceremony well in advance. www.gro-scotland.gov.uk

Another civil option gaining popularity is a Humanist ceremony. Such a wedding must be conducted by a Humanist Society Scotland Celebrant who has been authorized by the Registrar General of Scotland. A Humanist ceremony can take place anywhere 'safe and dignified'. The couple can design a Humanist ceremony entirely themselves with or without help from the celebrant. www.humanism-scotland.org.uk

There are several different types of religious ceremonies. If you decide on a Church of Scotland ceremony, you will need to approach the minister of the parish where you would like to be married. Most ministers are happy to conduct marriage ceremonies either in the parish church, or hotel or other venue, located within their parish. The minister will make sure everyone understands the format and meaning of the service.

If you intend having a Roman Catholic ceremony, you will find a few more rules to stick to. Some priests do still insist that both spouses are baptized, practising Catholics, but if one is not, special permission can normally be obtained quite easily. Most priests also ask that you attend a course of preparation, which consists of several pre-marital counselling sessions to make sure you are marrying for the right reasons.

Whatever sort of service you decide on, a fee will be payable, but it will certainly be one of the smallest costs of your wedding!