Jobs for the boys
It’s commonly thought that planning the wedding is all down to the bride, but even if your fiance is the super-organised type, she will appreciate some help with the preparations.
Some things were traditionally the groom’s responsibilities: rings, bouquets and buttonholes, gifts for attendants, transport for groom and best man, your wedding outfit, the honeymoon (your biggest outlay!). Rings, flowers, and transport are likely to be a joint decision nowadays, although romantic types still occasionally purchase a ring alone, so they can pop the question as a surprise. Jewellers will be helpful in this scenario, especially in helping you determine your fiance’s ring size (ie, by secretly ‘borrowing’ one of her existing rings). Even if you get this wrong, it should be easy to exchange it afterwards, though it would be a different matter if the ring has been specially commissioned – but it would surely take an especially callous woman to reject such a gesture! Remember that engagement rings should match what you eventually decide on as a wedding ring (see our jewellery section).
Some grooms also like to keep the honeymoon destination secret. This is a beautifully romantic gesture – as long as you’re sure your bride will like the sort of holiday you have in mind. It’s probably not a good idea to take her to the World Cup, and definitely best to avoid somewhere you or she has been with a previous partner! You may have an idea from previous holidays you’ve enjoyed together or locations which would fit any shared interests, such as walking, scuba-diving or a love of art – or indeed hints she has dropped. If you do decide on a surprise, then do at least give her some indication of what type of clothes she should pack. Whatever sort of honeymoon you plan, it might be a good idea to start with a few days of complete rest and relaxation, to recover from the big day.
One role which is definitely yours alone is The Speech. Firstly, plan in advance, and have a few notes to hand. Think about everyone on the top table, and say something about each of them. By all means be funny – but don’t be rude: this should not be the same speech you made on your stag night! This is also your chance to officially thank everyone who has helped with planning the day, especially both sets of parents. Keep an eye on the time – the groom’s speech is not intended to be long and five minutues is plenty. Don’t be tempted to get some Dutch courage by drinking too much beforehand. Finish by toasting the bridesmaids, preferably mentioning each by name and saying how beautiful they are, regardless of your own opinion! If you’re really stuck for ideas, look in GWD for samle speeches, or the services of a speech-writer.
Once you’re clear on your duties, also make sure you know the day’s running order –most importantly when it all starts (and this doesn’t include an hour in the pub!)
Finally, how about a little pampering to relax you for the big day? Be the perfectly groomed groom with a last-minute haircut a few days before, and a professional shave on the day itself for you, your best man and ushers. To really look your best, you could even have a facial, with nose pluck and back wax so you can look forward to the day and honeymoon fresh-faced and perfectly prepared.
